*Warning: If you haven’t seen the Great Gatsby there are spoilers ahead. But in all honestly, you should’ve read the book and therefore know what happens anyways. And if you haven’t, get on that and do something good for yourself.*
How I looked after watching Baz Lurhmann’s “The Great Gatsby”
After seeing Baz Lurhmann’s The Great Gatsby, people had one of two options: a) get on facebook and make a status about how wonderful it was their friends and tell them to go see it and b) have a silent car ride home only to arrive and stare at a wall while wondering how this crap happened to F. Scott Fitzgerald’s masterpiece. I seem to have been one of the 5% of viewers that chose option B when exiting the theater. When driving home, I couldn’t quite decide what ruined it for me, but time with the blank wall seemed to help me organize my thoughts into a list:
1. It was obvious there wasn’t too much of a plan when Toby Maguire began reading me the book. There was waaaay too much narration during the entire film and when the text started popping up, I knew we were done for. Its apparent that we were in for an experience that we we going to have to be told rather than one we’d get to see and unfold before our very eyes. And that’s exactly what happened. I feel like here’s how the production meeting went:
Hollywood Big Shot 1: The audience needs to know how Gatsby and Daisy met. How are we gonna show them?
Hollywood Big Shot 2: Ehh, showing them takes a lot of time. We’ll just have Toby tell them with a voice over.
Hollywood Big Shot 1: Great, that’ll also save a lot of money, which we need for our “Pat Ourselves on the Back” bonuses. Next on the agenda, we need to decide how to discuss what happened to Gatsby.
Hollywood Big Shot 2: Dude, it’s covered. Toby can just do another voice over and we can write it in wispy writing on the screen so it’ll seem artistic or some shit.
Hollywood Big Shot 1: By God, you’re brilliant.
2. Where did Gatsby and Carroway’s friendship come from? Seemingly, the answer is “your ass.”
3. I saw too much. I realize I said I didn’t see enough in an earlier note, but now I’m talking solely about when Myrtle is hit by Gatsby’s car. We saw it happen like 4 times from various angles, and then they revealed her dead body and expected us to be shocked or surprised.
4. You literally spoon fed me each message accept the one this book is all about.
5. As the director of something so amazing as Moulin Rouge, a movie that actually helped me discover who I was and what I wanted from life, I can officially say: Baz, I expected more from you. But then, I have to take into account that he also directed Romeo + Juliet. And that was absolute shit.
So, that’s where I stand on this Gatsby issue. Now I’m back off to my wall to wait and see what Hollywood’s next fuckup will be.
“Cheers, bitches.”